I upset Miley

Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Ms. Cyrus. She was living in a motel room. Notice I said motel, and not hotel….this was one of those run down motel’s you see on the side of the highways, and her room was disgusting, shit everywhere, clothes, food, you name it…..and it looked like it had been lived in for quite some time.

So, anyway we were just hanging out and talking like we were old friends, nothing sexual. Jimmy Kimmel comes over, but he has other ideas than just hanging out *brown chicken brown cow*

So let me describe her room to you, it had two areas, one was the living quarters and then there was a closet, but the closet didn’t go all the way to the ceiling, so if you stood on a chair and peered over you could see into her bedroom which was on the other side of the closet.

And peer I did =8-) I seen her and and Jimmy after the fact, and of course I seen Miley’s privates, but hell everyone’s seen Miley’s privates right? That’s not what upset her, I’ll get to what upset her in a bit.

After Jimmy left Miley & I walked to the front office, where her and the office lady got into a long conversation, I couldn’t tell you what they were talking about, and I wasn’t really listening….the conversation didn’t include me, and I felt like I was intruding, so I walked back to her room. I sat on a chair, which was the only chair in the house in the middle of the rubble waiting for her. While waiting I seen a magazine, so I picked it up and just started thumbing through it.

Now Miley’s room had a type of garage door that opened from the inside, so I opened it up to get some air in the stale smelling room, and to get rid of Jimmy’s sex smell *ewwww* It looked like we were in a desolate area that was in the desert kinda like this picture:

There were some of those plastic colored flags hanging off the motel that were blowing in the wind, like from a grand opening or a special event, but they had been up there awhile since they were faded, and some were ripped.

As i’m flipping through the magazine this guy shows up, in his early 20’s he walks in through the garage door type opening, and asks me where Miley is, I tell him that she’s at the front office talking. He gives this o.k. kinda shrug and heads for her refrigerator which is in her bedroom.

He asks if there’s any beer in here as he opens the door, I tell him I don’t know I haven’t looked, I peer inside the fridge from where I’m sitting, and it’s almost bare, I make out a French’s mustard laying on it’s side and some other things in there, but nothing really edible.

He grabs something that looks like a mason jar, but not really and it’s half filled with a clear liquid (it could have been moonshine). As he closes the fridge door four or five guys show up and then Miley comes back in the room, and she says to me

“Why did you leave?”

“You were talking, and it didn’t seem to concern me, plus I didn’t want to eavesdrop, so I cam back here.”

“Did I say it was o.kk to come back here without me?”

“No, but I didn’t do anything, I was just sitting here and found this magazine, so I was looking at it waiting on you”

“Well I think that’s rude, you don’t just go into anyone’s home without asking, or by yourself.”

Miley was upset, so I left…..then woke up.

My Day At The Cigar Haven

Yesterday I traveled an hour to go to a cigar store, it’s called the Cigar Haven

I was meeting a couple of co-workers here, one had to bail because he forgot his daughter had a pool party, so his wife was taking her and he had to stay home with his son, no big deal.

I got there pretty early and this guy greets me at the door and starts licking my feet

That’s “Mouse” the stores mascot. So I’m greeted by Mike and Barb, Barb runs the place and has been there for years I’m told. Mike asks if there is anything he can help me with. I slowly sigh and tell him that I have been smoking cigars for about 3 years and I just started getting serious about it. I told him about the few cigars I have had and enjoyed and I ask to see a few cigars I have heard or read about.

Mike was awesome, he answered all my questions and didn’t even laugh. He showed me quite a few cigars and humidors and how to properly maintain them. He then showed me to the “Smokers Lounge” this was every man’s “Man cave” dream come true: There were 6 leather chairs, not lazyboys, but very similar…they didn’t recline, there were 2 barber shop chairs, a table, a PS3, a bar, fridge and a bathroom along with a tv in an entertainment center with about 50-60 dvd’s and dvd player.

The other room was for members only, sorry I forgot the name, I think it’s “Gene’s Cave” or something like that (Gene is the owner I found out) it had a big screen tv and about 6 chairs as well (not sure if they reclined ot not) a poker table and lockers that members get with their yearly fee….*ahem* $350.00.

Personally I thought the free room was bigger and better and an easier sale to the wife, lol.  So, back to Mike, I ask him to show me some lighters since I am not happy with my $5.99 lighter I got at the local gas station. He shows me about 3 different lighters and they ranged from $39.95 -$59.95…..yeah that was out my price range, I asked him if he had any lighters that had these features (torch instead of flame and punches included) just at half the cost. He smiled and pointed to a basket on the counter and said these are all $9.95 and the ones with punches included are $10.99….*BINGO! SCORE!*

I then asked Mike what he would recommend for my purchase today based on what I have smoked and liked. He showed me 4 different cigars and I settled on 2: Cao – La Traviata & Kristoff – Liristnnia…I have to say I loved the Kristoff and will def be getting more of them, they said they just came in and they had been waiting for a long time for them.

After I made my purchase I went into the lounge and sat back and chilled for a bit. My buddy showed up he went and purchased a cigar and he bought me a beer *Fat Tire*

W

We then proceeded to smoke and chat the afternoon away, it was a great relaxing time and I met some very nice and interesting people. I can definitely see myself going there once a month.

For those of you that don’t know what a punch is, watch below: