Bed Space

According to Google;

The king size mattress dimensions are 76 inches wide by approximately 80 inches long – about 18 inches wider than a queen. This is the closest a couple can come to having as much personal space (38 inches) as each would have on a twin bed.

38 Inches per person is that what it says right? That’s what I see too, so riddle me this Batman, why does the wifey & I’s sleeping arrangement look more like this?

I’m not joking this is what it looks like. now let me explain the wifey & I are not small people we need our space.

I bring this up, because last night according to wifey I threw my pillow into her face when I came to bed, now I am not saying I didn’t, but it wasn’t intentional, however dear readers let me explain.

She was over on my side just a little bit more than usual with her pillow, now she will argue this til she’s blue in the face, but c’mon I bet if I took a poll of men, more than 70% would also face this dilemma.

I almost jumped up and measured her space vs mine, because I tell you dear readers my right arm (I sleep on the right side) was on the edge of the KING SIZED bed, but I was afraid I would wake her up, and then “That’s how the fight began.” So I stayed in my little coffin of a space, while she snored directly in my ear (glad I wear ear plugs, but I can still hear the thunderous roars, it’s just not as bad.

Anyway dear readers a miracle happened, it wasn’t intentional I was trying to be the good guy here, but I rolled over….not violently like normal, (sometimes it’s almost like I jump up in mid-air and turn while still in the air then come crashing down, i’m not sure how I do this, I would like to see it on video) just casually rolled over facing the left. She awoke and exclaimed in startled voice “What was that?” I didn’t respond, thinking she may be talking in her sleep. Again she said “What was that?” At this time I realized she was not in a deep slumber so I responded with “What was what?” “That shaking!” she said. I didn’t understand, so I replied with “I rolled over, but there wasn’t any shaking.”

I think what happened was I may have rolled and touched her hand, or pillow, or something since she was over on my side of the bed more than usual. Here is where the miracle happened dear readers

she rolled over back onto her side of the bed, and we both slept uninterrupted til the dawn.

So men, I ask you what is the solution to the bed stealing wives, girlfriends, or significant others in our lives? Or is there even a solution? Are we cursed to live the rest of our lives in our palaces like this? Is it just in our minds and our ladies are correct after all? Are we mad? Is there a way to put a barrier, so neither one of us wake up with black eyes or worse…divorced?

This Week In Smokes X2

Well it has been a couple of weeks…..maybe longer since I have updated this topic on my blog, due to the revamping of the site, which took longer than expected…..so without further ado I will try to go by memory.

Sunday the 4th of Dec when the wifey went to church. I had a Partagas 10….. since the weather was nice a very good smoke 5 out of 5, haven’t had a bad Partagas yet.

I also decided to try a CAO Earth Nectar this was a flavored cigar, that wasn’t great and wasn’t bad…….would not buy another, but if someone gave me one I would smoke it. so a 3 out 5

On the 5th of Dec I received a very nice, thoughtful bomb from someone on http://www.cigarasylum.com I won’t go into the details, because that’s a whole nother blog that I don’t want to get into right now, here are the sticks:

  1. Diesel Shorty
  2. Bolivar Robusto
  3. Liga Privada Undercrown Gran Toro
  4. AVO Heritage Toro
  5. Perdomo Habano Maduro Robusto

The next day I received these beauties from another member of CA:

Included are 3 Gold 5 Vegas & 2 Gold Maduro 5 Vegas, + Cigar.com matches and advertisements.

On Tuesday the 6th I smoked my 2nd worst smoke (1st was the Gurkha European Selection) this one was the MAN O’ WAR Virtue, I actually pitched this after the 1st third…0 out of 5, will NOT smoke again.

On the 7th I received another bomb from a member of the CA this time was because I posted an “empty” pic of the TRUNKADOR….I don’t think so, but he felt obligated to bomb me anyway.

  1. Indian Tabac Maduro Boxpress
  2. Lot No. 826 Churchill Perdomo
  3. Nica Libre 1990 Churchill Boxpress
  4. Oliva “G” Series Boxpress Torpedo
  5. La Pearla Black Pearl Toro Torpedo Box Press

+ 5 pack of 5 Vegas Classic Maduro Robusto

That night I had a Cohiba ‘Red Dot’ this was my 2nd one I had ever had, and this one was 10x’s better than the 1st a def 5 out 5.

Saturday the 10th my mother threw a Christmas part and I took some smokes with me, 1st up is a no name brand….a member of CA decided to start rolling his own and he named it after his dog “Roxy” he graciously sent me one of his Maduro to try.

This cigar has the best smell of any cigar I have ever smelt and this was without even lighting it, just amazing and it smoked just as well. A def 5 out of 5

Next I had a Tatuaje……um sorry I forget which one, and my notes aren’t helping, but once again I have not had a bad Tat 5 out of 5

Next was the smoke of the night Liga Privada Undercrown, this was not from the one that was just bombed to me, this was one I won from KissMyAshRadio.com back in Oct. 5 out of 5

That bottle behind it? Yeah that’s what I paired it with….DELICIOUS!

On CA I submitted my MAW (Make A Wish) and a member sent these to fulfill my wish

  1. 601 Blue Maduro (wish)
  2. Old Henry Maduro (Wish)
  3. Liga Privada No. 9 (Wish)
  4. 601 Red
  5. Alec Bradley 1997 Harvest Selection
  6. Alec Bradley Select Cabinet Reserve

Also on the same day I received my 2nd prize from KissMyAshRadio.com (I won again!!!!!)

  1. 5er of Brickhouse
  2. 5er of Casa De Garcia
  3. 5er of E Doble

On Tuesdaythe 13th Marlon came over to my house and brought me a very nice stick…….a Davidoff Double R….now these are about $31 a stick…..def worth it, but I just can’t see myself buying a box anytime soon….too much, but still a 5 out of 5

Friday was our usual Herf at Marlon’s house he had some boxes come in this week and couldn’t wait to share some with me and Alan, so I just brought some cheap smokes with me, nothing special hell I didn’t even get to them. He gave me a Liga Privada Undercrown (because I had been raving about the one I smoked at my mom’s party he bought a box)

And one that’s quickly becoming a fav of mine Nat Sherman, this one was the Suave and yep 5 out of 5

Saturday I had some Christmas shopping and I stopped at the local B&M to buy for my Secret Santa on CA and Marlon met me up there, I bought a Macanudo 1968 & a Saint Louis Rey

Marlon also bought a Macanudo 1968 and we both smoked it, we both thought it was boring smoke a 3 out of 5

Afterwards Marlon handed me one he just bought (he bought 2 of these) a 601 Green Label MUCH MUCH better 5 out of 5 I am loving these 601’s.

Now a little something extra for you my readers, when Marlon came over I showed him my Trunkador set up and he said I should empty out my humidors and jut put my sticks in there by themselves…..so here ya go.

Ignore the temps, I had it open for awhile so the temp dropped, but all is good sitting at 72%!

This Week In Smokes + A Special Treat For My Readers

Well Monday Thru Thursday pretty much SUCKED, too cold to smoke, need to talk the wifey into getting a nice CHEAP WARM heater out there so her sexy man can smoke.

Come Friday though it was ON, I went to my friend Marlon’s house and he and Alan were there. I brought a TATUAJE ANARCHY from my KISSMYASHRADIO contest win from last month for Marlon to try, also Alan made the mistake of telling me he has never had a ROCKY PATEL, so I brought him a VINTAGE 1990 (I think, or maybe a 1992).

To start the night off Alan brought us each an AVO XO INTERMEZZO he said that this was the first cigar he has ever smoked, it was ok it had a Connecticut wrapper so it was very mild (I don’t mind mild cigars, I am not a snob) it was a big change from what we have been smoking I give it a 3 out of 5.

Next Marlon and myself had the Tat Anarchy….now this is what I am talking about, rich full flavors, packed a punch and just an enjoyable smoke altogether.  Just so you know I have NOT had a Tat I didn’t like, I guess you can say I am a Tat whore. 5 out of 5

Alan ordered pizza and it was just what I needed after that powerful smoke, so I had a couple of slices washed down with a Guinness Black Lager (fucking yummy!!!!!)

After that I had another TATUAJE, sorry I can’t remember which one (if anyone recognizes it please enlighten me), but yep it was awesome and another 5 out of 5

The next day Marlon k, Myself and Alan all went to a local TATUAJE/DON PEPIN GARCIA Event, I actually had $ this time to buy some sticks, they had a special buy 3 get 1 for free, so here is what I chose.

1. TATUAJE LA CASITA CRIOLLA
2. DPG LA REBOLA
3. ARTURO FUENTE DOUBLE CHATEAU
4. TATUAJE CAPA ESPRESSO

I go to get out my wallet and Marlon takes them and gives them to the guy and looks at me and says “Merry Christmas” I told him he has given me way too much for Christmas already with the Trunkador he looks at me and simply says “It’s just money, and I’m happy to do it.” The guy rings it up, I thank him again and we go and sit down, THEN he hands me an ASHTON VSG churchill and says “THIS will be OUR first smoke.”

This was a great smoke, but I think it might have been a little too much for my 1st smoke (it was a little after 12 noon) so I need to give it another try and maybe pair with a nice Cognac so it only gets a 4 out of 5 this time.

This sucker too me 2 hours to smoke, Marlon…..about an hour lol.

Marlon got up and went and bought some boxes 6…so far and returns and hands me:
1. MEDEROS Torpedo (never heard of this one)
2. TATUAJE BLACK TUBO Torpedo Marlon had smoked one the night before at his herf and offered me the tube, I declined, because I don’t feel it’s right to take a band or a tube unless I have personally smoked it….he reminded me of this as he handed me the smoke. (that was my next smoke btw) Do I really need to say it? 5 out of 5

We sat and met a man named Mark  he mentioned that he was here and purchased a few TATUAJE WOLFMEN, (now to give you a bit of a background: Every October Tatuaje releases VERY limited releases of cigars named after monster, so far they have had THE DRAC,, THE FRANK, BORIS, THE FACE & WOLFMAN….once they are gone, they are gone and only if you are given one or lucky to pay higher than you should will you get one) he gave one to Marlon and told me that he only had 1 or he would give me one, I told him that was fine and I was good and thanked him anyway.

Alan was leaving and he gave me an ARTURO FUENTE DON CARLOS.

Marlon got up again and went to the register bought another box and came back and handed me an ALEC BRADLEY FAMILY BLEND (it was next to meet it’s demise) like the tats I have not had an AB that I didn’t like 5 out of 5

Then Mark comes back and really surprises me by dropping a Wolfman in my lap, he says “I found out that I have an extra one so here you go.” I tripped over myself thanking him and he said “Hey cigars are for sharing, that’s what it’s all about.”

So in total I walked out with 9 cigars and smoked 3, and only paid $1.50 for a bottled water……UNBELIEVABLE!

Here are some pics of the place and the event “specials”

Here’s me & Marlon enjoying our smokes

Now for your treat, I got the TRUNKADOR all set up and I decided to shar with you my stash.

This is my little corner where wifey lets me keep my cigars on top of the trunk from left to right starting with the front row:

  • Box filled with the cigar bands I have smoked + my lighters & cutters
  • 15 count HERF A DOR
  • Distilled Water
  • TUPPADOR filled with empty bags & fuel for my lighters
  • TUPPADOR with infused or flavored cigars (have to keep them separate from the regular cigars

This is my cigar bands, lighters & cutters box

My infused TUPPADOR

The TRUNKADOR opened, on top is my small 20 count HUMIDOR to the right is a mixed box of singles Marlon gave me, to the left is just some misc sticks without cellophane and below all that is my 150 count HUMIDOR

Next is the misc sticks spread out on top of the bottom humi

And then the 150 count HUMIDOR opened

And one last pic for your viewing pleasure

Simma down ladies, I’m spoken for.

My New Smoking Buddy…Maybe You Know Him?

Last Sunday my brother-in-law asked me if I was interested in a smoking buddy, I replied “Hell Yeah!” since all my BOTL’s (Brother Of The Leaf) are not very close to me. He explained how this person had a massive humidor filled with all kinds of cigars. He gave me his # and left the rest up to me.

I finally got around to calling him on Tuesday night and introduced myself, he was actually at a B&M I hadn’t been to before and we shot the chit for a bit. I invited him to the herf which probably isn’t going to happen this Saturday.

I googled his name, because he told me he was a race car driver and had several world records under his belt and his latest car is a million dollar beauty….I know nothing about racing other than they usually go in circles, so I’m thinking to myself this guy can’t be all that and be from my small little town…..well everything he told me was correct, but it still didn’t dawn on me who he was.

I had done my part and I really wasn’t expecting anything else from it.

He called me on Wednesday night and asks if I had or was smoking, I told him no it was too cold he burst out in this evil maniacal laughter and asked if I wanted to come over and smoke some. My plan last night was to stay at home and clock in some time on my new game (Saints Row:The Third) I just got the night before, I couldn’t play it on Tuesday because wifey had taken over the tv so last night was my night to play………but I thought about it for about 2 seconds and said “YES!” wife was out so I text her and told I was going.

I get the directions (9 mins from my house!) and I pull up, he meets me outside and we shake hands and he invites me in to see his humi…pics below:

This is with the doors closed

Top Shelf

 

Still the first shelf

 

Second Shelf

 

Third Shelf

 

And the very bottom

 

And with the doors open

 

He started showing me his collection box by box and educating me more and more this hobby. He then asked me which one I wanted out of his humi, I didn’t want to be greedy and take his Davidoffs or anything, so I chose the Bolivar Mudaro since I hadn’t had one and have been wanting one for a few weeks now. I also brought him a Perdomo Lot 23 which to my surprise he said he hadn’t had before.

 

 

 

 

 

The Bolivar was a much milder than I anticipated, but it was a great smoke.

We go outside to his “office” which was basically his garage and there he proceeded to tell me about his company and what he does, I am not going to go into detail I will just tell you to google the name Marlon Kirby.

So I just wanted to tell you about my adventure  from the other night and give props to a generous and fellow BOTL.

This Week In Smokes

Well it’s been a pretty slow week for smoking, I have been fighting a cold and I didn’t want to chance ruining my smokes do to my illness.

But fear no my loyal readers for I do have SOMETHING to post about.

Over at the CigarAsylum they had a contest for the longest ash, and another for the biggest fail (meaning pics of the destruction of your ash) I submitted these, I don’t remember the 1st cigar, I believe it was a Diesel Unholy Cocktail. Anyway I had about an inch and a 1/2 on it and this happened:

This was on Friday I believe, Saturday I listened to KissMyAshRadio and I won a $50 gift certificate for answering a movie trivia question, they play a clip of a movie and you guess which one it is….mine was True Romance.

Here is what I purchased with my GC:

The sticks are:

  1. My Uzi Weighs A Ton
  2. CAO Brazilia Amazon
  3. Tatuaje Anarchy (exclusive from SmokeInn.com who also do the radio show…I was actually told to get a 5er of these, that alone was $49.99 and since I am still new to cigars and want to try everything under the sun I opted for 2 of these)
  4. Liga Privada Undercrown (these are new and everyone is raving about them)
  5. Kristoff Sumatra ( I freaking LOVE Kristoffs, I haven’t had this brand yet, so I had to try it)

Not too bad eh?

Sunday while at the inlaws I thought I would try the contest again, this time it was with a Gurkha the last Gurkha if you recall bored me to tears, this one was MUCH better.

As you can see I got more ash on this one, but still not enough to win, I believe the winner had a 3.5 inch and the destruction ended up on his chest, crotch and leg. no pics of my destruction, and I easily beat 3 inches, but my phone died and I couldn’t take the pic

Monday I received a package as part of a trade, I gave the guy some 6 finger slot bags and in return he gave me…….some CUBANS….shhhhhh……check it out and watch the drool, I had to

Included are:

  1. Partagas
  2. Ramon Allones
  3. Padilla Corojo Torpedo
  4. Camacho Quinto Corte Torpedo
  5. LA Herencia Oscuro Fuerte
  6. Padron 1964 Anniversary Series Box Press Lancero

He told me to watch out for the Camacho, because it might kill me and the Padilla is from 2006 and smoking very nice right now.

No smoking from Sunday till Yesterday, I couldn’t take it I was Jonzin’ for a cigar so I lit up one that I wasn’t familiar with, but also wasn’t in in hurry to smoke, boy did it suck too. It was Puros Indios Torpedo and it just tasted bad and left a bad taste in my mouth.

Today I tried again and with the wife’s advice to try one I have had before so I had a Cusano 18 Double Connecticut Robusto and it was great….no pics…suffer.

Bombarded By Bees & Favorite Tunes Friday the Saturday Edition

Today wifey and I took the boy to the apple orchard to get some apples and let him pick out a pumpkin.

We get there and he wants to play on the swingset with the other kids, but instead of playing with the other kids he plays alone in the straw….I guess that’s pretty common for an only child.

After a few mins of that he wants to pick out a pumpkin, we go and find 2, however he doesn’t want to carry any of them heh, so I haul them back to the car while he and mommy go to the apple and cider and produce section.

I join them and wifey keeps asking me to get some cider (I love cider, but for $5 a gallon & $3 a 1/2 gallon I can do without). We ended up buying a pint of apple butter.

We go to the concession stand because I want an Elephant Ear, I LOVE them, but they are not like the fairs…bummer, I still get one, actually we get two + a water a cider for me and a cider slushy for the boy.

As were standing there waiting to order bees are EVERYWHERE and I do mean EVERYWHERE….I don’t like bees!

We get up there and order our stuff and I ask the lady at the counter if they get stung a lot “mmmm not too bad, we will usually grab one by accident, and the other day one flew up my shirt and stung me…..NOT FAIR!”

Did you just read that? OMG!!!!!!!!! have I told you I hate bees? well I HATE THEM, Bill Maher says there is a shortage of bees…..GOOD RIDDANCE!!!! I don’t care they suck!

THEY CAN SMELL FEAR!!!!!

So, we get our food and yep the bees surround us, so we walk away from the food and the other bees with food in tow, we go to the swingset area again thinking we would be far away enough……NOT!!!! THEY FOLLOWED US!!!!

We tried moving further away, no good so wifey says “We will probably have to eat them in the car” bummer, but ok I’m game.

We all move to the car and you should have seen how fast this big boy can get the food, the boy and himself in the car.

NO BEES!

We enjoy our treat and they (the bees) come the window…..I’m not lying! It was like that moie where the bees cover the VW and they have to go to the football stadium and freeze the bees off……ok not that bad, but it was pretty terrifying none the less….heh.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a herf and there was a bee and I’m ducking and jiving trying to get away from it, one of they guys thought this was entertaining and made the comment “Really? You have all those tattoos and your scared of a little bee sting?” I had to laugh at that,

So that was my Saturday.

Sorry I missed Favorite Tunes Friday and I am not going to do a double shot, just the one.

Today I bring you

38 SPECIAL

I love this band, and I feel they never got their due, sure they had some big hits and they are loved and respected all over the Classic Radio stations, but a majority of people won’t put them up there with all the other greats….I will.

I had the pleasure of seeing them live twice…the 1st time they had Eddie Money open up for them and the 2nd they opened for Bon Jovi (REALLY???? I couldn’t believe it….they didn’t even play Hold On Loosely, it was a pretty shitty show).

This video is the very 1st song I ever heard from 38 Special where I fell in love with this band, I then went back and discovered their earlier better stuff, but this one popped my cherry with this band and it still tests the time.

Enjoy!

Conversations At The Microwave

If I hadn’t told you before me and my wife work together, we carpool with my sis n law sometimes (she usually rides with us) yeah and their mom oh and their brother work here too. We do our best to save one ice glacier a day…your welcome Al Gore.

Anyway this week my wife has been very busy on a new project and we couldn’t each lunch together, so we both have been eating at our desks, which is fine with me I can surf the web and not be around drivers while trying to eat (no disrespect…just sayin’).

So the past couple of days I have had a couple of interesting conversations with coworkers…well I found them interesting anyway.

#1 I’m at the microwave and I am talking to coworker who sits directly in front of the microwave. Poor guy he has to smell all that burnt popcorn, because people don’t understand that there is a button that clearly says “POPCORN” on it and if u have a small bag u press it twice…ok end of that rant and back to the topic at hand.

So I have 8 mins to kill while my lasagna is cooking (Smart ones remember the “Chris Clay Diet?”) So I go up to his desk (2 feet away) and I look on his desk and I see his eyeglasses case which has the Batman logo on it …badass  right? Here’s the conversation:

Me – Dude, that’s awesome! I love Batman
Him – Me too, I love Batman! I really really love him (he’s Mexican people give him a break will ya? Sheesh)
Me – Oh yeah? Well check this out (I show him my Batman tattoo…he is very impressed he might even had a boner…it is a nice tattoo)
Him – That is nice!
Me – Thanks!
Him – That is really really nice! Did it hurt?
Me – Hell yeah it did, they ALL hurt, don’t let anyone tell you they dont because they are lying.
Him – I didn’t know
Me – Wanna see my “Willie?” ( I love saying that…it cracks me up)
Him – (confused) Ok?
I show him my tattoo of Willie Nelson, again he is impressed. He then continues to ask me how long it took and how much all the usual stuff people ask when they see tattoos. I fulfill his curiosity then get my lasagna and eat.

#2 (this is a good one)

Coworker – Hey man I haven’t seen you and your wife much this week in the cafeteria
(I explain to him about how she is doing a special project and blah blah blah)
Somehow the conversation switches to him and his 2nd ex wife.
Him – Man I thought being with her was cool, she worked at Target in record dept (cd’s for all you youngsters) and we used to get free tickets to concerts and stuff.
We went to Tom Petty and we went backstage and I got all fucked up, and he fucked her.
Me – Who? Tom Petty?
Him – Yeah
Me – What he hell?
Him – Man I don’t know, but that was it. I divorced her ass…served her the papers on our anniversary.
Me – Hell yeah!
Him – It wasn’t planned, it just happened that way. “Here ya go bitch, happy anniversary!”
We both kinda laugh
Me – So you were what married 4 times or something?
Him – Yeah, with her we were only together a year, so I don’t really count her.
Me – Tom Petty huh?
Him – Yeah…that son of a bitch.

Microwave dings.