You’re Never Gonna Believe This One…..

Last night I got the ok to buy a brand new mower……If you have been following my blog you will know that my mortal enemy as of late is the lawnmower.

So, last night after work we had it all planned out, go grocery shopping then have “Mr. Fix It” meet at our house so he could go with us and tell us which mowers were good and which were junk (if you recall he fixes mowers for a living, but mine is the ANTI-MOWER!).

Me and wifey end up going to dinner because we were hungry and we didn’t want to buy up the whole store…ever been shopping when you were hungry? It’s torture, and “Mr. Fix It” was going to eat dinner at my bro/sis in laws house while he waited for us to call him…..we didn’t go grocery shopping because it got too late and I couldn’t wait to buy my new mower.

After dinner we get “Mr. Fix It” and he follows us in his company van to store #1.

We look at the selection or lack there of for our budget and decided that this wasn’t the store for us.

We go to store # 2 and “Mr. Fix It” leaves his van at store #1, we would buy the mower load it in our car and drop him off at his van on the way home right? Just wait.

We get to store # 2 and they had a little bit better selection, but not by much and we still weren’t satisfied, so off to store #3.

We get in the car, I turn the key in the ignition and nothing but click click click……we all look at each other and sweat starts to appear on me (it’s 94 degrees outside with a heat index of 115), I try it again same result…click click click.

“Mr. Fix It” says the battery is dead….all I can think of is there goes my mower……so wifey says do they sell them here at store# 2? He says he doesn’t think so….I go in and check and sure enough they do not….awesome!

We call the sis-in-law she comes and takes us all to “Mr. Fix It’s” van and wifey and sis-in-law go back to her house, no room for wifey in the van and no reason for her to sweat it out.

Me and “Mr. Fix It” go to store #3 to buy a new car battery….it’s about 8:45pm and we still haven’t been home from work. We get to the car battery section and look up our car……..THEY DON’T HAVE IT IN STOCK!!!! In fact, THEY DON’T EVEN CARRY THE KIND WE NEED!!!!! The store is deserted and I go to look for help.

I walk to the sporting good section….deserted, electronics…..only 2 people there and they are busy…..cameras…..deserted…..shoe dept….I spy a worker walking down the main aisle of the store and I say “Help, help, can you help me please?” She looks me dead in the eye and keeps walking!!!! “Really? You’re just going to keep walking? Nice!!!”

Another lady comes up and I ask her for help, she says she will try to get someone, I thank her and head back to the batteries. I tell “Mr. Fix It” about it and he is trying to find the battery we need……no one shows up to help…we continue to look for the battery still no luck.

Still no one has come to help…..”Mr. Fix It” looks at my battery and this other battery that is clearly not the right battery and he starts measuring it up with his eyes. He takes out his tape measurer and starts measuring the new battery…..still no help has arrived. He goes back and forth measuring them and finally he says “This one will work!” I say “Are you sure?” Like I have any right to question “Mr. Fix It.” “He says “Oh yeah.”

I shrug and agree with him…..$80 later and I have a new battery, we decide to look at the lawn mowers while we there there, since this was the next store on the list anyway….they were all junk.

We go back to the car and install the battery….all good right? Just wait.

I turn the key in the ignition and it starts HOORAY I think, but “Mr. Fix It” knows better, he goes to his van and pulls out a battery tester, the dude is like Batman with his utility belt!

He hooks it up and tells me to push the gas a little bit, I do and he kills all my happiness with these words….”It’s not charging.”

WHAT?????????????? Seriously? It’s brand spanking new, how the hell could it not be charging??????

Then he gives me this real serious look, he tilts his head down and peers over his glasses at me and says “I bet it’s your alternator.”



18 thoughts on “You’re Never Gonna Believe This One…..

  1. LMAO…..I know what you mean…just had to put front brakes on my truck in the same heat & without good tools. Have no clue how people can work on cars, mowers, & all that for a living. Such a pain in the ass. All that & you still didn’t get to get a new mower. I feel for you buddy.

    • Thanks man, “Mr. Fix It” did bring me another mower (it’s my sis n bro n laws mower….they moved into an apartment and no longer need it) I get to try it out tonight…..wish me luck.

    • Thanks, I did call around and the cheapest I can find to fix the alernator is $200 that covers lifetime on the part and 1 year on the labor…….um what does covering labor mean though?

  2. Aw, man… that’s painful! I’m very sorry to hear about that!
    Exactly the sort of thing that would happen to me. When it rains, it pours, right? (But if we wanted it to rain and rain was produced mechanically nothing would happen, of course. Unless we wanted it to stop. Click.)

  3. Were you at Meijer’s by any chance? Bummer! OK, so return that battery (which it seems you could have swiped without too much fuss) and get Mr Fix It to loan you his trickle charger, cause I know he has one, and then get your alternator. I have to put one in my Mustang ASAP. On lots of cars they’re the easiest thing to change out. Meanwhile, it’s time to set your stepson on the lawn with a pair of scissors.

    • Actually at Walmart (the WORST place on the face of the earth). Keeping the battery and having the alternator fixed today while I’m at work and for only $200.00!!! Didn’t you read hon, I am not a handy man, I know very little about cars….hell even “Mr. Fix It” couldn’t repair it or his wife’s.

      Funny you mention that about the boy, a few weeks ago he got a hold of some scissors and not yard scissors either, just plain scissors and he was cutting our rosebush. mommy freaked out, it was funny though…I tried to get him to cut the weeds, he wasn’t having any of that.

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